Monday, June 29, 2009

Transformers RotF review, Incoherent like the movie.

To start if this blog has any weight with Hasbro people in deciding future movies, PLEASE NEVER LET MICHAEL BAY DIRECT OR BE INVOLVED WITH ANOTHER TRANSFORMERS MOVIE. The same goes to you Mr. great producer Steven Spielberg.

oh lots of Spoilers...

I don't know where to start with this new movie. I actually liked the first one. I liked it a lot. It had great characters, heart, and treated the Transfomers pretty good. I accepted the part that the Transformers are expensive CGI creations, and that they do have to be limited to save money. It also makes sense, if this is a live action movie, actors have to be involved and they need screen time to fulfill their contracts. So the story has to be Man vs. Machine, not Machine vs Machine. If they want to continue Machine vs. Machine, the whole movie can just be CG without actors at all. The first movies story was a little weird, but it worked and I was happy. Also, the Decepticons were scary with the great repeating chanting theme they had. When they started to group up, it was really erie. Also remember Josh Duhamel's character's situation with his wife and kid? Also remember Jon Voight's stand out performance? Also remember Bonecrusher and Blackout dying? I will stop there.

SO this new movie gets made. I was excited. I actually like most Michael Bay movies, they are summer movies, they usually have pretty good characters, and great action. This movie was no where near his usual charm. It had plot holes, confusing scene treatments, characters that died and came back in the same movie, racist characters, One dimensional characters (that government guy), the Fallen, and Autobots that did not function as a team at all. There was no heart at all, it got stomped on somewhere when they were brutally hunting down Decepticons who were just hiding. The Devestator scene was useless, could have made a good five minute short on YouTube. Jetfire, just because you are an old robot doesn't mean you have to have a beard and cane. I hated the fact that there was the Fallen bad guys and the Decepticon bad guys. I would have been just fine with Decepticons. What was so special about the Decepticon hood ornament on the dump truck, it was like the damn ring in the Lords of the Rings. Why were their Decepticons part of Devestator and part individual robots running around??? The whole Egypt second half of the movie. Why didn't Optimus wait for back up in a three way fight? Oh because he dies, he always dies over and over again. The movie should have just ended there, Transformers fans are used to it. Bumblebee is only there when you not need him. I wanted at least one scene with Ratchet, Iron Hide, Prime, that new guy who replaced Jazz, and Bumblebee talking a plan over (the decepticons got to plan things, why not the Autobots). Where was the cool Decepticon music from the first movie!!! The darn camera moving has to stop! Don't tell me, it would look fake if slowed down, the slow motion scenes are incredible. I guess thats the evil plan, move the camera, make it hard to see, so fans have to see it ten times!

Okay-okay, I vented and feel better. Uh-oh here it comes again...

I also hate the fact that Michael Bay is all smug that this movie made lots of money. Well it should, Transformers are cool, its simple as that. It has nothing to do with Bay's talents. Remember people can't get refunds from a movie if they don't like it. The only good out of this is it made money, and sequels will continue to be made possibly by a different director. Maybe Bay will probably return to destroy it one more time, but hopefully someone else will get to try and make a good movie ten years from now.

Okay-okay, things I liked...

Great special effects (aside from being hard to determine who was who sometimes). Demolisher was amazingly designed. Soundwave hanging out in orbit and just staying there. Sam's silly parents. Megatron as a tank (but he was nothing compared to the all powerful figure of the first movie). I guess thats about it.

Okay, on an unrelated note, I am off to join the military.

Well, no I'm not, I am just saying that a large part of this movie felt like a recruitment show.

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