GI Joe vs the Squirmle 2: The Stretch Mutation

After the abrupt ending of the last film, I was compelled to film a sequel, diving deeper into the mysterious swamp.

Toy Story 3; Stretch

Who remembers my scathing review of Twitch? Dude, it was only a few days ago! Your probably thinking if I hated Twitch that much, why did I buy Stretch? Well, unlike Twitch, I actually like Stretch.


Again, the toy is not much in the field of joints, action features, accessories, or included comic books.


It excels in that its translucent sparkle purple, smooth, stinky, durable, and floppy? I don't know what I really like about it, it just works as a good bad guy for other toys to wrestle with. The tentacles don't even stay bent, and I am okay with that. You can make her stand tall, or stand or sort of flat. I guess the toy just works in this form, as an Octopus never had an 80's show with a ton of figures with armor, power staffs, and quick attacks. You can't think, "Gee I wish this toy was like those old He-Octopus toys."


Cobra Commander has quickly befriended her for future missions.


She has a great facial feature much like a mad McDonald's Grimace. I hear she's voiced my Whoopi Goldberg, which is a shame because now instead of a unique character Stretch, its Whoopie Goldberg as Stretch. I hate celebrity voice actors, but thats how theses computer animated movies work, and thats a rant for another day.

Toy Story 3; Twitch - Mattel, Really?!?

Mattel Mattel Mattel, I am so disappointed in you. Really, what the heck is this? Maybe you should retire from toy making. In the 80's you created these fantastic things called Masters of the Universe that stand the test of time. They had lots of articulation, accessories, removable armor, unique action features, and even mini comic books included. For all intensive purposes you could still play with one today as one of the greatest toy lines ever made in the history of plastic stuff. Flash forward to today 2010, Toy Story 3 comes out, you Mattel have the license to make toys that celebrate classic toys. So you make a figure for Twitch a modern take of a classic 1980's action figure (one that you used to make remember?). But with this figure you decide to add minimal articulation (3 points for main body (not counting those awful hips), and 2 points for wings), no action feature, and my favorite no weapon! Really Mattel, no weapon? He's holding something cool on the illustration on the box, but nothing inside the box. How do you forget the weapon??? Thats a total insult to any kid/collector who wants to play with the thing, which is what it is for. No kid in the Toy Story Universe would ever want or play with this toy in this form. It's so useless it shouldn't even be classified as an action figure. Why even make toys Mattel, WHY? You should hang your plastic company head in shame for this one!



Just to note I will be returning this toy for something Hasbro or even Ban-Dai will make a hundred times better, and not insult me.